A father took to Reddit to ask people how to let his son know that it is completely fine to date a male friend.
The dad who is in his 40s said that he is convinced that his son is in a relationship with his male friend and he wants to tell him that it is Ok.
The dad wrote: ‘’Hello Reddit. Please bear with me regarding my formatting and things. I have read the rules and things, but I’m an old fart who is rather on the wrong side of 40 so I’m not overly well versed in the art of efficient internetting.’’
‘’My boy is 20 years old. He’s absolutely my pride and joy, and there is nothing he could do that would ever make me love him less. For the first half of his life, I regrettably wasn’t involved very much. His mother and I parted ways when he was just a few months old and at the time I was struggling with a heroin addiction and was absolutely not as present in his life as I should have been, nor was I suited to fatherhood at all.’’
He revealed that he barely met his son when he was a kid but when he turned 12, the boy came to his dad and told him about the mistreatment he was getting from his mother.
‘’I saw him, at most, two to three times a year for the first 12 years of his life. I won’t discuss details because that’s his private story to tell, but when he was 12 he revealed to me that he was being badly mistreated at the hands of his mother and her boyfriend.’’
The dad admitted that he was not the best father but he didn’t want to see his son in pain so he decided to get his custody. He praised his son calling him loyal and kind.
‘’Despite not being the best father at the time, I didn’t want my boy suffering any more so I got myself cleaned up and sorted out in order to get full custody of him.
I’ve effectively been a single (and sober!) father ever since and he has little to no contact with his mother. He’s everything a man could want his son to be; he’s uniquely kind and fiercely loyal, he’s unflinchingly brave, he’s incredibly generous and, despite the horrors he suffered as a child, he’s unfailingly positive and sunny to the last.
’’
‘’Somehow I of all people was bestowed with the honor of watching him grow from a sweet young boy to the greatest man I have ever known. I cannot stress enough my pride in him.’’
The boy moved to another country after turning 18 and kept visiting his father once in a month.
The dad continued: ‘’When he was 18, he got accepted into a top-ranking university on the other side of the country. I was sad to see him go, but simultaneously overjoyed that he got into his first choice and was starting a new chapter in his life.
He comes home once every other month, and on the month’s he doesn’t come home, I go to visit him.’’
The father said that he is skeptical about his son’s sexuality as he thinks he is gay which is completely fine for the dad.
‘’He’s doing well in uni, has made lots of friends and seems incredibly happy there, which I’m obviously chuffed about. Since his second year, he’s lived with his “friend” in a flat off-campus. I’ve strongly suspected since his early teens that my son is gay, and I now more or less have confirmation that this is true and that his “friend” is actually his boyfriend.’’
The son asked his father to let his friend stay their home and the latter agreed. The father thinks the guy friend of his son has some issues with his own family.
‘’So, for this COVID-19 faff, my son decided he’d rather come home and quarantine at mine than stay at his uni flat. His “friend”, however, would be left alone if my son came back as he’s a Canadian and his family are back over there, and I gather he doesn’t have the best relationship with them anyway. He asked if it would be okay if “friend” tagged along to my house and I said of course, no problem.’’
The father revealed that he has seen them behaving like a couple and calling each other by names like babe and sweetie. ‘’They’ve been back at mine for about six weeks now. They think they’re being subtle I know, but I’ve caught them doing coupley things on several occasions now.
The “friend” has slipped up a couple of times and called my son ‘babe’ and ‘sweetie’ in front of me, which I pretended not to notice for the sake of saving embarrassment.’’
One morning the dad decided to check where the boys are sleeping as he was told his son will sleep in his child room and his friend in the guest room.
‘’There have been nights where we’ll be watching a film with the lights off and, thinking I can’t see, my son will have his arm around the “friend”.
One day I walked into the lounge and I’m positive they’d just been kissing and were trying to cover it, though I admit I have no confirmation on that one. The most solid evidence, however, came a few mornings ago. I get up very early to go for runs in the morning as far as I was told, my son was sleeping in his childhood room and his “friend” was in the guest room.
’’
The father saw them sleeping together and he was convinced that they are a couple. He didn’t tell them that he has seen them together and decided to mind his own business.
‘’I don’t know what possessed me to do so, but on Tuesday morning I cracked my son’s door open to check on him like I used to when he was a kid. Lo and behold, they’re both asleep, snuggled up together, in my son’s bed. That’s more or less solidified for me that they’re together. I didn’t say anything, just shut the door and went for my run, and I haven’t mentioned it to them yet.’’
The main point of sharing the story was that dad wanted to let his son know he is ok if they are a couple and they don’t need to hide it from him. He said that he supports them and want them to feel comfortable.
He added: ‘’What I want advice on is this; how do I let my son and his boyfriend know that I’m okay with them being a couple and they don’t have to feel like they have to sneak around in my house? I want them to be comfortable here and I want them to know I support them both no matter what. Or is that not a good idea?’’
‘’I obviously don’t want to force either of them out of the closet, but at the same time I hate feeling as if they feel like they’re being forced into the closet in my house.’’
People praised the dad for showing support to his son without being judgemental and he received a great response on his post.
Recommended Video
“‘They Told Me Gays Should Die’: 22-year-old Hospitalised With Horrific Injuries In Homophobic Attack”
[rumble video_id=v5cdnn domain_id=u7nb2]