A woman who has been keeping a huge secret has revealed that her daughter’s brother is actually the real biological father.
Writing on The Atlantic’s Dear Therapist, the mother explained that her husband had two children from a previous relationship before they met.
After they got married, they have decided to have their own child but her husband’s vasectomy could no longer be reversed.
“We didn’t want to use a sperm back, so we asked my husband’s son to be the donor,” she wrote.
“We felt that was the best decision: Our child would have my husband’s genes, and we knew my stepson’s health, personality, and intelligence. He agreed to help.
“Our daughter is 30 now. How do we tell her that her “father” is her grandfather, her “brother” is her father, her “sister” is her aunt, and her “nephew” is her half-brother?”
The mother also said that she and her husband are ‘anxious, confused and worried’ about telling their daughter the truth.
“This is also hard on my husband, because he wants our daughter to know that he will always and forever be her father,” she expressed.
Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist, responded to the column and told the mother to sit her daughter down and tell her the ‘facts as simply and clearly as possible’ before making an apology, adding that she should let the daughter dominate the conversation.
She also urged the mother to talk to the ‘brother’ first so he won’t be shocked by the daughter’s reaction.
However, people online were left divided by the situation, with one person commenting: “Leave it now. She should have been told one or two decades ago. Let the sleeping dog lie.”
Another said: “Why wait now till she’s 30 her whole life a lie ..her whole family kept this secret when they should have told her long ago ! If this my me and my mother told me this when I was 30. I would totally freak out.”
A third added: “Don’t tell her. You were selfish not to tell her when she was young. And now you’re being selfish again because you no longer want to have to deal with the burden of guilt. You’ll destroy her life just to make yourself feel better.”
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