A grieving mother opened up about her indescribable pain after holding her stillborn baby boy in her arms.

Annabel Bower is a strong mom from Adelaide, Australia, who shared her grief in a touching book titled Miles Apart after her stillborn child died at just 24 weeks.

As the mother expressed, she was left “utterly devastated” after realizing it was time to let go of her stillborn son, Miles, and go on with her life without him by her side.

“I felt stuck in time and I didn’t want to leave the hospital because I knew once I did, that would be it. I had to set a time limit for myself until midday the next day and stayed overnight with Miles,” she told Daily Mail Australia.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of handing him over to someone.”

After being forced to return home without little Miles, things didn’t get any better for the heartbroken mother. As she revealed, she became an emotional wreck while dealing with her postpartum body, hormones, and inexplicable pain at the same time.

“I couldn’t function, I was an absolutely wreck and just cried for days looking out to sea,” she said of her family trip to the coast.

“I really didn’t know if I could ever be happy again. I would ask myself so many times ‘Is this what the rest of my life will be like?’”

While all hope seemed lost at the time, Annabel managed to “learn to live with grief and joy side by side” and allow herself to be happy once more.

She has since become pregnant again and gave birth to a baby boy named Tom. She also wrote a touching guide that helps parents navigate through the loss of their baby due to stillbirth or miscarriage.

“It’s a topic not enough people talk about, even though so many women experience the trauma and heartbreak of losing a child,” the mother says.

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