In the UK, an upset mother burst her anger out to a popular parenting website after her son came home from school and told her he had been punished for saying “flipping heck”.
The anonymous woman has shared her problem on Mumsnet and explained that her 8-year-old son who is “incredibly shy” said the phrase out of frustration when he missed a goal during a PE lesson at school.
The parent took to Mumsnet’s Am I Being Unreasonable thread:
“At pick up yesterday the teacher asked me to wait behind for a minute as my 8yo Ds had been put on red (they have a traffic light system- start on green if really good go-to silver and then gold if naughty go to orange and then red. Get on red twice in a term and you have to go to the headmaster’s office).”
The unidentified Mom who has referred to her son as D says that her son normally “bobs along in green” most weeks and explained how her son instantly put in red for saying “flipping heck” when he missed a goal.
She wrote: “Ds has always been really good, he’s incredibly shy, hates drawing attention to himself, and normally just bobs along on green every week.”
“But when the bell rang at the end of the school day, the mom claims her son’s teacher told her that he had been punished for his “bad language”.
The mom wrote: “He looked mortified when he came out and the teacher told me he’d had to go straight onto ‘red’ for bad language during P.E.”
The boy told her mom that he tried to explain what he actually said but the teacher interrupted and said: “Please don’t say it again, you’ll only get yourself into more trouble”.
However, D apologized to his teacher and just walked it off. Later that night, he informed his mom that he hadn’t even said a swear word.
The furious mom wrote: “I asked him if he was sure that was what he’d said, that he hadn’t said the F word but he was adamant he hadn’t and was in tears of frustration at this point as he kept trying to tell the teacher what he’d said but she just kept telling him not to repeat it.”
After that, the mother messaged and got in touch with the teacher and sent her apologies once again, before mentioning that he had only said “flipping heck”.
The mom also said that “Ds is very sorry for upsetting you today.”
She explained: “Teacher immediately messaged back to say that she was aware that was what he’d said, it was more the tone that he’d said it in that she was disappointed about.”
“[This] wasn’t what she’d told me at pick up and [she said] that I needed to ensure that he was aware that language of that type is not acceptable at school.”
The frustrated mother was eager to get advice from other parents and asked whether they considered the phrase disrespectful.
The mother asked the website: “Is ‘Flipping heck’ rude? I say it all the time and I’m certain that is where he’s picked it up from but I’ve never told him not to say it. I thought it was just a nonsense exclamation.”
The post sparked fierce debate among members but many parents said that the schoolteacher overreacted to the child’s use of the phrase.
“Teacher is so out of order, she has shamed your shy son for a totally innocent comment,” one mom said.
“Absolutely over the top,” a second one replied. “Not a habit to get into granted but blimey hardly foul language.”
“That is not a swear word, it would literally not even occur to me to reprimand a child for saying that,” a third commenter said. “Maybe I’m wrong.”
“We say “flippin eck” in Sheffield a lot, so that teacher would have us all on ‘red’,” a fourth one added.
“Primary school teacher here,” a fifth commenter said. Flipping heck wouldn’t bother me at all.”
“If I gave an instruction and heard a child mutter ‘flipping heck’ then there might be a consequence for their attitude and lack of respect but not for the words themselves,” he continued.
However, a few of them disagreed and took on the teacher’s behalf declaring they wouldn’t want their children using the phrase.
“Hi mean, it’s not bad language in itself, but it is absolutely a stand-in for “f***ing hell” and is used as such, so that’s probably what she’s getting at,” one parent commented.
“I wouldn’t say it around my dd and would be disappointed if I heard her say it,” a second said.
“That would definitely count as swearing at dc school, tbh I wouldn’t want my dc saying that,” another has added. “Might be a regional thing tho.”
“Sorry, I disagree and think it is bad language that should not be used in school,” a parent said.