42-year-old Ellen Gonzales from Stamford, Connecticut said she wished she had never touched her face after five botched surgeries have left her with lumpy lips and a ‘piggy snout.
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She said she turned to cosmetic surgery after experiencing bullying over her appearance when she was young. But she was not happy with the results when she had lip injections in 2004 and became more frustrated after two nose surgeries in 2016 and 2017.
“I wish I’d never touched my face. I feel ugly and unattractive. I don’t want to be fake anymore,” the mother-of-three said.
“I went through a lot of trauma as a child which is why I got plastic surgery. I wanted to have control over my body.
“I was bullied to the point of wanting to commit suicide and I ran away from home to get away from my bullies.
“When bullies tell you that you’re fat, ugly, that you would be better off dead, you do anything to change that impression of yourself.”
Ellen wanted to look beautiful but she missed Thanksgiving, Christmas and an entire year of her daughter’s basketball as she did not go anywhere.
“I can’t eat or drink properly. Food falls out of my mouth, and if I drink liquids and I’m not leaning the right way, they come out too. I have to drink with a straw.
“Now I suck my bottom lip in, so people don’t notice. I’ve been practising and if I suck it in, I look normal as long as I don’t smile.”
It was in 2004 when Ellen’s cosmetic surgery journey started. “Years ago, my friend told me about a lady who was doing fat shots, tattoo eyebrows and lip fillers, but it wasn’t a real clinic.
“She injected my lips and (…) I immediately felt they were too big but she assured me they’d get smaller. She said it was non-permanent and would be gone in a few years – that was 2004.”
She continued: “In 2016, my daughter had a tumour on her neck and the surgeon said, ‘I could fix your breathing problems for you too’. He told me to stop by his office.
“He originally did a rhinoplasty, but (my nose) was turned up like a little piggy snout. It didn’t look natural. It was like I had two separate noses. One part was going one way, then I had a crazy-looking nose tip that was very, very pointy.
“The second time he went back in, he took fat from my stomach and added it to my nose. Now I’ve got an even bigger nose than when I started.
“While he was doing that, he said he’d make my lips a little smaller too. Instead of cutting straight across, he cut one side higher than the other.
“I asked him for an explanation and he didn’t answer me. He said it looked good and if I didn’t like them, he’d fix them again.”
After surgery, the mother-of-three was shocked to discover how lumpy her lips were. The stitches also became infected and started to release pus.
Because of her financial issues, she says she has no other choice but to go back to that same surgeon to get her appearance fixed.
“My next surgery is in February. I’m not feeling very well about trusting him again, but I don’t have any options.”
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