Michael J Fox has recently revealed that he is constantly in ‘intense pain’ as he shared heartbreaking details of his Parkinson’s Disease.
The 61-year-old actor talked about his struggles in a new Apple TV+ documentary titled ‘Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie,’ in which he also opened up about his battle with addiction.
While reminiscing, he said that he ensured he had enough dopamine pills to manage the symptoms of the illness.
In the documentary, Fox said: “Therapeutic value, comfort – none of these were the reason I took these pills. There was only one reason: to hide.
“I became a virtuoso of manipulating drug intake so that I’d peak at exactly the right time and place.”
It was in 1991 when he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s but kept it as a secret for years as he tried to fight the disease.
But when he was told by doctors that there was no way cure, he tried other methods.
“I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t know what was coming. So what if I could just have four glasses of wine and maybe a shot?” Fox said.
“I was definitely an alcoholic. But I’ve gone 30 years without having a drink.”
While he managed to deal with the illness, it was not an easy journey.
“As low as alcohol had brought me, abstinence would bring me lower. I could no longer escape myself,” the actor said.
“You can’t pretend at home that you don’t have Parkinson’s because you’re just there with it. If I’m out in the world, I’m dealing with other people and they don’t know I have it.”
Fox credited his wife Tracy Pollan and is four children as his ultimate motivation to get sober.
“To me, the worst thing is restraint,” he expressed. “The worst thing is to be confined and to not be able to have a way out… There are times when I went, ‘There’s no way out of this.’”
The actor also shared how it’s like to live with the disease.
“I’m in intense pain,” he said. “People around me are going, ‘Be careful, be careful. And I’m like, ‘This has nothing to do with being careful. This happens.’”
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