In Apple TV’s documentary ‘The Me You Can’t See’, Prince Harry openly spoke about the enduring trauma of losing his mother, his struggles growing up being a Royal and the devastating toll of the Palace’s silence when his wife Meghan asked for help with her own mental health.

Here are the 11 bombshell revelations from the Duke of Sussex:

1. THE SOUND OF HORSES HAUNTS HIM

Prince Harry said that he dissociated from his body during his mother’s funeral and felt resentful towards the mourners who came to grieve her death.

“For me, the thing I remember the most was the sound of the horses’ hooves going along the pavement,” Harry said. “Along the Mall, the Red Brick Road.”

“By this point I was, both of us were in shock,” he continued. “It was like I was outside of my body and just walking along doing what was expected of me.”

“Showing one-tenth of the emotion that everybody else was showing. I thought,” he said. “This is my mum. You never even met her.”’

2. HE USED ALCOHOL AND DRUGS TO COPE WITH DIANA’S DEATH

While pictures online show that Prince Harry is having a good time drinking, he revealed that it was actually the opposite.

“I was willing to drink, I was willing to take drugs, I was willing to try and do the things that made me feel less like I was feeling,” he said.

Prince Harry said he would drink a week’s worth of alcohol on one night not because he was enjoying it but because he was trying to mask something. 

3. HE WORKED SO HARD TO THE POINT OF BURNING OUT

“Towards my late 20s everything became really hectic for me, but to the point of exhaustion,” he told Oprah on the second episode. “I was traveling all over the place because, you know, from the family’s perspective I guess I was the person who like ”we need someone to go there. Nepal, Harry you go’’.

“I was always the yes man I was always the one willing to say yes,” he revealed. “But that yes and yes and yes, of course, yes yes yes led to burnout.”

4. PUBLIC APPEARANCES TRIGGERED HIS ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS

“Every time I put a suit and tie on and having to do the role, to go “Right, game face” look in the mirror, right let’s go,” he said. “Before I left the house I was pouring with sweat, my heart rate was racing.”

“I was in fight or flight mode,” Harry revealed. “Freaking out every single time I jumped in the car, every single time I would see a camera.”

“I would just start sweating,” he continued. “I would feel as though my body temperature was two or three degrees warmer than everybody else in the room.”

“I would convince myself that my face was bright red and therefore everybody could see how I was feeling, but nobody would know why,” he added. “So it was embarrassing.”

“You get in your head about it and then you’re just like everybody is looking at me,” he explained. “One bead of sweat feels like the whole face is pouring down.”

“Everywhere I go, every time I meet someone, it’s almost like I am being drained of this energy, picking up on other people’s emotion, finally I would bump into someone sweating more than me and I would stop, be able to speak to them and everything would calm down and I could move on again.”

5. LONDON IS A HUGE TRIGGER

“For most of my life I’ve always felt worried, concerned, a little bit tense and uptight whenever I fly back into the UK, whenever I fly back into London,” Harry said. “And I could never understand why… I was like, why do I feel so uncomfortable?”

“And of course for me, London is a trigger, unfortunately, because of what happened to my mum, and because of what I experienced and what I saw, I can just remember the feeling, anxiety, like a hollow empty feeling almost of nervousness, is it fear?”

“Everything feels tense,” he said. “It’s being the hunted, and being helpless and knowing that you can’t do anything about it. There is no escape. There is no way out of this.” 

6. PRINCE CHARLES PROVIDED COLD COMFORT

 “My father used to say to me when I was younger, he used to say to both William and I, “well it was like that for me so it’s going to be like that for you“‘, Harry told Oprah. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Just because you suffered doesn’t mean that your kids have to suffer, in fact, quite the opposite,” Harry said. “If you suffered, do everything you can to make sure that whatever negative experiences you had, that you can make it right for your kids.”

7. AN ARGUMENT WITH MEGHAN LED HIM TO SEEK THERAPY

Prince Harry also revealed that his then-girlfriend Meghan encouraged him to seek therapy after an argument led him to believe that without help, he would be at risk of losing her.

Prince Harry said the moment he started therapy, his therapist told him that during the argument, it sounded like he was going back to his childhood.

“I felt somewhat ashamed and defensive,” Harry said. “Like, “How dare you? You’re calling me a child”.

“And she goes, “No, I’m not calling you a child. I’m expressing sympathy and empathy for you for what happened to you when you were a child,” Harry said. “You never processed it. You were never allowed to talk about it and all of a sudden now it’s coming up in different ways as projection.’”

8. THE ROYALS TRIED TO STOP THEM FROM LEAVING

Prince Harry said that while they tried to work within the royal family for four years, they encountered resistance when they tried to step away from their duties even when Meghan’s mental health was clearly suffering.

“That feeling of being trapped within the family, there was no option to leave,” Prince Harry said. “Eventually when I made that decision for my family, I was still told, “you can’t do this”.

“And it’s like, well how bad does it have to get until I am allowed to do this?” Harry said. “She [Meghan] was going to end her life. It shouldn’t have to get to that.”

9. MEGAN’S DEPRESSED THOUGHTS

While the public learned about Meghan’s mental health struggles in the first TV interview with Oprah, Harry went into greater detail about it. 

“The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought,” Harry said. “She hadn’t lost it. She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or by alcohol.”

“She was absolutely sober,” Harry said. “She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of the night, these thoughts woke her up.”

10. THE FIRM IS STILL WORKING TO ‘SMEAR’ THEM

Prince Harry said that the media coverage leading up to his first tell-all interview with Oprah greatly affected his wife.

“Before the Oprah interview had aired, because of their headlines and that combined effort of The Firm and the media to smear her, I was woken up in the middle of the night to her [Meghan] crying in her pillow,” he revealed. “Because she doesn’t want to wake me up because I’m already carrying too much.”

“That’s heartbreaking,” he said. “I held her. We talked. She cried and she cried and she cried.”

11. HARRY HOPED HIS FIRST OPRAH INTERVIEW WOULD LEAD TO HEALING

While the public saw the couple’s tell-all Oprah interview would drive the fractured royal family further apart, Prince Harry had a very different perspective. 

Prince Harry described the first Oprah interview as real and authentic.

“I like to think that we were able to speak truths in the most compassionate way possible, therefore leaving an opening for reconciliation and healing.”