Transgender Man Decided To Reveal His Identity At Work After Being Afraid Of How Co-Workers Would React

Damien (Demicia Ann) Montoya was born as a healthy girl on July 10, 1992.

But it wasn’t long before Montoya realized there was something wrong with his body.

As a child, he never liked skirts, dresses, or Barbie dolls. He wanted to wear T-shirts and basketball shorts.

Likewise, he always wanted to “participate in sports, build with Legos and play dinosaurs” unlike other girl-children of his age.

“It’s not that I was a little girl who just wanted to be a boy,” Montoya writes in HuffPost Personal.

“Every single cell in my body was telling me that I was a boy. I would have vivid dreams that this were true, only to wake up and stare in the mirror in disbelief.”

Having had no options, he had to repress such feelings for a long time.

Although Montoya “came out to my family and friends as a lesbian” a year before high school but “the truth is: I was still in denial.”

After completing high school, he went for an undergraduate degree in pre-veterinary studies at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.

View this post on Instagram

Thirsty Thursday ?? Can’t believe Thanksgiving is only a week away!!! Can’t wait to be with my family and eat some amazing food.point 382 |

Most epic cheat day ever! ? What are YOUR plans for the holiday?! ? .point 55 | .point 56 | .point 57 | #thirstythursday #thirsttrapthursday #almostfriday #weekendvibes #visibility #transvisibility #transawarenessweek #bepositive #bodypositive #bodybuilder #bodybuildingmotivation #fitness #mensfitness #ftmfitness #gymselfie #transandinked #transandshirtless #thisiswhattranslookslike #transisbeautiful #willnotbeerased #selfmade #selfmademan #ftm #transgender #transandfit #transandproud #transpride #progressnotperfection #gains #gymaddictpoint 466 | 1

A post shared by Phoenix Montoya (@phoenix_montoya) on Nov 15, 2018 at 9:02am PST

Here, Montoya met members of the LGBTQIA+ community, including a couple of transgender men who were in different stages of their gender transitioning.

“One of them was very open about his transition, and I admired him immediately, bombarding him with questions about the process,” he says.

“In 2011, by the fall of my sophomore year, I knew what I had to do: I had to come out, again.”

It was when he decided to turn from Demicia to Damien. When he revealed his intentions to transition to male, he received a harsh reaction from his parents, especially his father who “took a couple of years to come to terms with my transition.”

The initial period of his transition was very awkward because he “would get misgendered a lot” and “people would use my old name or ‘she/her’ pronouns.”

View this post on Instagram

Happy Friday folks! Goddamn I have been so busy lately my head is spinningggg ? .point 503 |

In addition to work, which I’ve picked up extra shifts doing liquor demos again, I have so much else on my plate right now.point 102 | I recently got bumped up to co-chair for the LGBTA+ committee at work, which is great! But also now starting to flow into my full-time job with multiple monthly meetings and all that.point 253 |

With Boston Pride quickly approaching, that will definitely start to pick up as we assemble a group march in the parade ?️‍? .point 108 | I’ve also started writing for @ftmmagazine long-term so I find myself racking my brain to come up with good concepts for articles.point 219 |

And then writing and editing them takes time ⏱ .point 41 | I have two runway shows coming up that require rehearsals and promo events.point 104 | And then I’m trying to book shoots whenever I have free time, so basically I have none left for myself ? .point 191 | I’ll rest when I’m dead ??‍♂️ .point 226 |

Photo by @mrcourtneycharles ? .point 27 | .point 28 | .point 29 | #aintnorestforthewicked #busyman #illsleepwhenimdead #happyfriday #tgif #weekendvibes #nodaysoff #hardwork #hardworkpaysoffs #flexfriday #flexinonem #skins #bodypositive #bodypositivity #loveyourself #selfcare #confidence #ftm #transgender #ftmfitness #transandfit #transandinked #transandshirtless #bodybuilder #selfmade #selfmademan #myjourney #becomingme #therisingphoenix #phoenixmontoyapoint 391 | 1

A post shared by Phoenix Montoya (@phoenix_montoya) on Mar 15, 2019 at 12:07pm PDT

But it changed when he started hormone replacement therapy.

“As the hormones set in, my voice deepened, I put on more muscle mass, and I started to grow facial hair. Within a year or two, I was no longer misgendered and I began to truly feel like who I was supposed to be: a man.”

The university’s insurance covered his surgery and he underwent a successful transition.

“It felt great, and I lived what the community calls ‘stealth’ where I didn’t tell anyone about my past. I just wanted to live a ‘normal’ male life, without the constant questions and judgment,” Montoya writes.

After graduating from college in 2014, he landed a job as an animal care technician for a university.

Everything was going great at his job except that he wasn’t feeling himself at the workplace. So, six years after his transition, Montoya “decided to come out again, this time publicly as an openly transgender male.”

View this post on Instagram

Throwback to my second photoshoot ever with @richardwayraphotography ? .point 335 |

The first photoshoot I did was with a photographer that had worked with my ex, which got me into modeling.point 87 | After posting images from that first shoot, Richard reached out to me via Instagram to do a shoot with him down in Jersey.point 187 | It really validated my potential as a model, because his work was excellent.point 251 |

I was so flattered and excited, I threw all caution to the wind and drove 3 hours down to meet him ? .point 80 | I didn’t go in blind tho! I hit up some models he had previously worked with to make sure he was legit and not some creep.point 179 | Pro-tip for any of you trying to get into modeling ? .point 222 |

And I’m so glad I did.point 19 | These images, to this day, are some of my favorites.point 62 | I would love to work with him again to see how far I’ve come over the last almost two years! ? .point 139 | .point 140 | .point 141 | #throwbackthursday #throwback #tbt #thirstythursday #thirsttrap #thirsttrapthursday #modeling #experience #learning #improvement #progress #photoshoot #malemodel #modelsearch #bookme #fitnessmodel #inkedmodel #transmodel #ftmmodel #ftm #transgender #transandinked #transandshirtless #mensfitness #physique #mensphysique #classicphysique #bodybuilder #bodybuilderlifestyle #phoenixmontoyapoint 499 | 1

A post shared by Phoenix Montoya (@phoenix_montoya) on Mar 7, 2019 at 11:57am PST

First, he shared his story on Instagram. Contrary to his expectations, he received an overwhelming response of love and support from people across the globe who told him how inspiring his story was.

Now came the next and more difficult step for Montoya – revealing the truth about his past at the workplace where no one had a clue that he was transgender.

He was afraid that his co-workers would treat him differently after knowing his truth, and it would lessen his chances of a promotion. But he had made up his mind.

Montoya sought help from the Diversity and Inclusion Office in thinking about how to come out to his department of around 70 people. They decided to reveal the news via a presentation about ‘Being Authentic at Work’ in one of their quarterly department meetings.

View this post on Instagram

Worked my full time job followed by my first Nespresso shift today.point 328 |

I am beat.point 8 | Hopefully I can relax a bit tonight before work again in the am! ? .point 62 | What are your plans this Saturday?! ? .point 94 | .point 95 | .point 96 | #sexysaturdays #happysaturday #weekendvibes #bedroomeyes #sexystare #ftm #trans #transgender #malemodel #newenglandmodel #inkedmodel #tatted #guyswithtattoos #transandinked #transandsexy #handsome #confident #selfmade #selfmademan #transandproud #phoenixmontoya #therisingphoenix #phoenixpoint 362 | 1

A post shared by Phoenix Montoya (@phoenix_montoya) on Feb 16, 2019 at 9:20am PST

“I was nervous, voice shaky and palms sweating,” he says of the presentation. “I was expecting the room to break out in hushed whispers when I was done, eyes darting around the room.

“But I got through my presentation, and at the end, the department stood for a standing ovation.

“I expected to get bombarded with questions, but to my pleasant surprise, it was like nothing had changed. I still have the respect of my direct reports and no one gives me a second look in the locker rooms.”

Montoya says he decided to come out publicly at his job because he wanted “to be the role model that I didn’t have growing up.”

“I want to be a resource to help other people who may be struggling with their identities, to show them there is hope,” he says.