Writer and father of many children, Mike Berry, explains in his blog that why his wife is more important than his children and why everyone should adopt this idea in their family.
The blog article became very popular for many reasons: some people slammed the author while others were inspired by his way of thinking.
Mike and his wife Kristin adopted 8 children and raising them beautifully. They are very happy with their married life and spend 17 years of togetherness, they also do social work actively in order to help other families who are dealing with family problems.
We share Mike’s interesting article with you so you get inspired by his positive thinking!
“It is usually 8:30 when I give my 2 teenage daughters the first warning that it’s time. And at 9 pm I tell them, “You should go to your room.” I do this almost every evening. And they argue every time, “Why do we have to go to bed at 9? We are not children anymore!”
“You don’t have to go to bed now, I’m simply asking you to leave the living room. Mom and I haven’t seen each other for the entire day because we were concentrated on our work. We need time to be together.”
“Honestly, we have followed this rule for as long as I can remember. We have been parents for 15 years and the children never took all of our time. My wife and I spend a lot of time with our children but never 24/7. We love our children and of course, they play a huge role in our lives. They can always rely on us and get our help and support.”
“But aside from children, there is “us.” Our relationship. Kristin and I always have to make sure that our marriage is strong and healthy. There are several reasons why it is important and here are 4 of them.”
1 A healthy marriage is the cornerstone of the home
“Children are not the cornerstone of your family.point 158 | They are a huge part of it but they are not the ones holding this chaotic structure we call family.point 238 |
The most important part of the family is you and your wife, your husband — your partner.point 74 | It’s you who has all the responsibility.point 110 | And the children choose their paths based on your example.point 159 | ”point 166 | 1
2 Before them, it was us
“Before they existed, it was the 2 of us.point 334 |
We fell in love, we missed classes together, we talked on the phone all night (and it was tied to the wall with a cord), and then we decided to be together forever.point 132 | We were at the beginning of the path.point 162 | And we started this whole family thing.point 195 | Then we had our beautiful children.point 225 |
Of course, we are happy to have them.point 30 | But our marriage is sacred.point 53 | And we have to do everything to protect it.point 88 | ”point 95 | 1
3 After them, it will be us
“Nothing lasts forever.point 253 |
There will come a moment when the children will grow up and leave the nest.point 61 | I don’t know about you but there is no place in my house for a 30-year-old child.point 128 | So, when they leave our house, have their own families and raise their own children, I would like my relationship with my wife to remain as strong and intimate as it was in the very beginning.point 285 |
And in order to have such a future, we need to work on the relationship right now.point 66 | Our relationship should be a priority.point 99 | Of course, it is not as easy as it seems.point 131 | ”point 138 | 1
4 We need to set a future example
“As I have mentioned before, the children see us and learn from us.point 335 |
They do what we do and watch our every step.point 35 | I often say, “We are raising adults, not children.point 79 | ” Again, I don’t know about you but I want my children to grow up with a normal attitude toward dating, love, and family.point 181 | And I want our marriage to be an example for them.point 221 |
So, my wife comes before my children.point 31 | They are really close, but still after my wife.point 70 | ”point 77 | 1
“At the end of the day, we all tend to be tired and tense. And yes, your children need you, they are really important. Not your hobby, not your friends, not your job. And you should care about them. But take care of your relationship first. When children see that their parents love each other, they are sure that the parents love them. But the most important thing is that they will have confidence in themselves and in the world around them.”
“We have crazy schedules. We always lack free time. We spend the entire day with our children. And this is why I ask them to go to their rooms at 9 pm every evening. This is why my wife and I have a date twice a month and we go out. Because it matters.”
“This is why my wife comes before my children.”
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