A heartbroken woman who wanted to become a mother opened up about the reason why she failed to get pregnant.
As an anonymous woman, whom we shall refer to as Monica, revealed in a piece for Capsule’s ‘The Divorce Diaries’, her marriage fell apart after she had learned of her husband’s secret.
According to Monica, she and her partner – let’s call him John – had a great start. After getting to know each other, the pair fell in love and John proposed a year later.
“We spent three hours talking about the future – what places we’d travel to, where we’d live, what we’d do. He asked me about kids and I said, ‘if it happens, it happens. I’ll leave that up to fate, but I would be happy either way,’” she wrote.
Following four years of life in two, however, Monica decided she wanted to become a mother and experience the joy of raising a child. After telling John about her feelings, the woman found herself in a big dilemma, whereas her husband got angry at her for wanting to become a mother.
“I immediately regretted using those exact words that ‘I’d changed my mind,’ though, because it’s what he pounced on. Because it was more like I’d never been sure either way, but now I knew,” she added.
“I was surprised he was so shocked and that he was clearly angry about it. He said we’d mapped out a life without children, which I didn’t think we had. He kept talking about the travel bucket list we had and how that would never be possible with kids. I disagreed.”
After fighting about the matter for some time, John surprised his wife one day as he told her he was willing to “give it a go” and try for a baby.
“I’d always assumed it would just happen for me when I wanted it. I had a doctor’s appointment and had tests and they couldn’t find anything wrong. My doctor said it often takes couples a full year to conceive so to try to put the worry aside until then,” Monica revealed.
After trying for a year, Monica could no longer deal with the uncertainty which is why she arranged fertility tests for herself and her husband. John, however, was not happy when his wife told him he had to visit a doctor.
“I thought Matthew would be on board and I booked an appointment for us both, but instead he exploded. He said if it wasn’t happening it just wasn’t to be and we should let it go. We had a massive fight,” Monica explained.
Things got even worse just before the scheduled appointment when Matthew revealed that he had a vasectomy back in his 20s during his first marriage.
“It felt like he was speaking another language. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. We had been trying for a baby for a full year, with him knowing full well that it was impossible,” Monica added.
After the truth came out, Monica couldn’t help but feel betrayed thanks to her husband’s lies. She has since decided to end her marriage and seek therapy.
“I was trying everything, and he knew it. I started meditating, going to reiki, acupuncture, I did cleanses, changed my diet, took up yoga.
I always thought it was my body betraying me. I never thought of the possibility it was something wrong on his end. I gave myself a hard time, I directed all that anger at my body when the whole time, that should have been towards him,” she expressed.
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